HELP!? What do you think of my story?

Wow! It sounds fantastic!!! :) I would defiately buy it! You have a great mind! Ignore all the horrible comments. I think this sounds fantastic Oh >.> and, nice names!!! :) Haha, Devon is me, and I have a sister named Jess. lol, but yes. This sounds like a great story! If you ever need anything! Please, I would love to talk with you. =D