Is my mother a *****?

here's the thing...since the age of 2 i've been living with my grandparents(mom's parents) & my aunt's and uncles coz my mom went abroad to work after divorce....she never lived with me and hated me...later she called her bro n sister there instead of calling me & got married ...my step dad is nice ...in the later years they all came back n i met my step dad , he was a nice guy...then my little sister michelle came , who is 11 years younger to me...today i'm 17 n my mother never treats me well, beats me up on little issues...i've spent many sleepless nights crying & waking up the other morning with swollen eyes. on 2007 i went to bangkok with my whole joint family & my step dad n sis n my mom started a company with a male friend Mark she had an affaif with him n neglected my step dad,i got admitted in a very nice school..., due to recession it did'nt last long n we all came back...sadly i've not been able to do my schooling since last 3 years n i get tensed n worried about it...after comming back she still talks to Mark n says he is just a friend until it came out that my step dad has another wife n a baby boy in india....my mom left him & he went back to india....now my mom is confused herself, sometimes she says she wants to marry Mark & sometimes she says she doesn't want to get married... i've met mark as he used to live with us in bangkok in our house! with my step dad n everybody else.... they have plannesd to get married n i'm looking 4 a good school to complete my 11th standard .she.. left me with my grand parents, aunts, uncles when i was born & fled with a guy called daniel...she is a slut n i hate her....now in the morning she fought with my grandparents, aunts,uncles n used filthy language...called her own mother who i love the most a *****.....now she wants to take me n my sister back to india to my step dad.....NOW I KNOW SHE IS A CHARACTERLESS FEMALE ALWAYS HUNTING FOR MEN....INSTEAD OF TAKING CARE OF ME N MY SIS SHE IS GETTING MARRIED AGAIN N AGAIN....I REALLY FEEL LIKE KILLING MY SELF AT TIMES...she has booked our tickets, she says if i created any drama or a scene she'd call the cops....i can't stop crying, my eye r ******* swollen ,am i not old enough to take my decisions? i am 17 she can't just drag me wherever she wants? i love my grand parents n my aunts,uncle's i can't live without em'....what should i do? i hate my mother she is a freakin slut.....i really love life , i sing, play guitar, write songs, n i really wanna make it big someday but i dunno where my life is takin' me...i told my mom that if she forces anything on me imma go kill my self, but she does'nt even care.......i 'm sooooo ******" frustrated...i really wanna KILL MYSELF , OR HER....COZ I DON'T WANNA LIVE WITH HER...IT'SW EITHER ME OR HER....WHAT DO I DO? :'(